365 days - Nolan Lee

Dear Nolan,

Today you will turn one year old.  365 days.  Both a life time and a blink of an eye.

These days I look at you and see such a little boy, so full of joy, so feisty, so brave yet so careful to make sure mom or dad are close by.  What happened to my tiny, fragile little baby??  I almost have to close my eyes to see you that way but the memories are right there.  I have done my best this year to hold on to every moment with you.  The good, the great, and the not-so-great too.

I remember the first time I ever really saw of you - on that ultra sound - and I remember how your daddy and I held our breath then sighed and shed tears of relief to know that it was really true.  We really would become parents.  We prayed for you, planned for you and dreamed about you.

Then I remember yesterday last year.  Oh I was so uncomfortable in my pregnancy and we had just seen the midwife in the morning who told us it was highly unlikely we'd be hearing from you any time soon.  Imagine our surprise when that night I awoke to my water breaking and the realization that we would be meeting you a full month earlier than we had planned.  I remember that day so well and I remember you so tiny, so fragile, your sweet little coos and milky breath.

Slowly you grew and at every stage of the way you have filled us with so much joy.  Seeing you smile for the first time, kick your little feet for the first time, cheering you on to roll over for the first time.  I remember your first laughs.  They were at daddy just making silly daddy sounds.  Then suddenly you were rolling around the whole room, then sitting up.  Then sitting up in your crib.  Do you know that every night for the last 365 days I have gone into your room after you have fallen asleep to kiss you, tell you I love you and just stare at the awesomeness that is you?  I cried when we had to lower your crib mattress because I couldn't reach to lean into the crib and kiss you laying down anymore.  You were just so big.  Then you started to crawl (like a wounded soldier!).  Oh man, that's when I knew you would keep me busy.

And now you are crawling around up on your knees as fast as can be and pulling up and walking along all the furniture and you are all into everything:  kitchen cupboards, pulling clothes in and out of the dryer and washing machine, trying to climb into the dishwasher if I'm not fast enough... the list goes on!  You are just such a little boy.  A little blonde boy, which still blows my mind.

And I love absolutely everything about you.

I love your soft, pale, doughy baby skin.

I love that when you laugh you wrinkle your nose up and show off your teeth.

I love that when you hear mommy and daddy laugh, you start laughing too just to join in on the "conversation".

I love that you love to snort like a piggy.

I love that you lay your head on my shoulder and wrap your arms around my neck so tight when you are tired or just need love.

I love that these days one of your favorite signs is "baby" and that you squeeze and love on a funny looking naked little baby doll.

I love the way you say "mama" with your small, high-pitched, but incredibly big-boy sounding voice.

I love that your first spoken word was "moo" of all things!  And that you are obsessed with animals in books that are (or at least you think are) cows.

I love that you inspire family dance parties in the living room.

I love that you sleep with your blanket tucked beneath you and your little butt up in the air.

I love the small baby you were and the beautiful big boy you are becoming. 

Because of you our lives are richer than we could have ever imagined.  Sweet Nolan, there are no words in the world that could possibly explain the deep love your father and I have for you.  Thank you for the most blessed, full year of our lives.  We love you and can't wait for the years to come.

-mommy & daddy

here is a video tribute to Nolan's first year.  It's 8 minutes long, just a warning.  Get your popcorn ready, ha ha!  (tip: if it's too slow, press pause to let the video load fully.  Wait a few minutes, you'll see the gray bar getting longer, then play or click the grey circle once the video is fully loaded.)